Life, Love and Kindness

Small Comfort

I posted this on my old blog on July 9, 2011 after we said good-bye to our sweet Daisy. I’m re-posting this for Stephanie Miller, who is going through the same grief today for her beloved Max.

We know you’ve been hurting for a long time. And you were getting so tired.

You spent the day in the sunshine, wandering the yard and nosing in the sage for lizards. Then you came inside to take a nap at my feet. I brushed you one last time, and then you and I and Dad went for a ride. One of your favorite things to do. Sissy met us there. And then we said good-bye as you fell asleep in our arms. It was as peaceful as we could have hoped for.

Thank you for being our big brown doggie.

Daisy, July 8, 2011

I don’t believe in heaven
And I know that there’s no hell,
I don’t think you’ve gone anywhere,
And I guess that’s just as well

‘Cause I want to remember
the last look in your eyes
It was the best and worst thing
to get to say goodbye
to you~

They say we’re not s’posed to comprehend,
But I wanna know more
Being there with you at the end
was a pain I had hoped for

Did you know where you were going?
Did you like the time you’d spent?
I wish that you’d stayed longer,
But that’s not how it went

Now I know there’s no forever,
but of all the hearts I’ve met,
I think the place we ended up
was as close as one could get,
did you~?

They say we’re not s’posed to understand
That doesn’t help me
Watching you leave by my own hand
Were the cards that were dealt me

Some would blame the dealer,
some would blame the deal,
some would make up stories
that never could be real

I hope when you left,
You were glad to be back home,
I think that you knew
You would never be alone

I’ve no need for heaven,
Or some eternal bluff,
I prefer what’s real
And what we had here was enough

I’m glad I get to miss you
but that you can never miss me
Thinking you’ll wake up and see us
is your eternity…
small comfort
I miss you
I miss you
I lo~
——————
Small Comfort” ~ George Hrab, Trebuchet

Life, Self

It’s gotta go

My uterus, I mean.

Complex Hyperplasia with Atypia

Many women who have symptoms of endometrial cancer (vaginal bleeding after menopause or abnormal menstrual bleeding) may have a biopsy that shows precancerous changes of the endometrium, called complex hyperplasia with atypia. Risk is high that 25 to 50 percent of these women will go on to develop endometrial cancer.

To reduce the risk, doctors usually advise women with this condition to have a hysterectomy (surgery to remove the uterus) if they are past childbearing years or do not intend to become pregnant. Many gynecologists refer these women to a gynecologic oncologist for their surgery because of the chance of finding true cancer at the time of the hysterectomy.

Hopefully this will be done before the end of the year and that the final pathology report doesn’t indicate cancer. My biopsy report left that window open, and I don’t think it can be ruled out until they can take a good look at everything.

Life, Self

On Hold

Something’s wrong. What, exactly, is not yet known. We’re supposed to find out tomorrow. Or sometime this week. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s something. If it’s something, it may be bad. If it’s bad, just how bad?